Vampires are so pase

I don't know how to make accent marks on my text.

So, uh, ever since Twilight became popular everyone is freaking out over vampires. I guess they've always been pretty popular but now its kind of ridiculous. Bram Stoker and Anne Rice are famous authors of vampire novels, Nosferatu has been done, Van Helsing, and Hellsing the Japanese manga. . . I could probably go on.

Boy, Nosferatu sure is quite the looker, isn't he?

Stefanie Meyer confessed that she had done no research on vampires before writing Twilight, hence the reason why she made them sparkle in the sunlight and the complete absence of holy water, crucifixes and stakes. That, and most of the vampires in Twilight are extremely good looking and have a special gift/super power, as if surviving on human blood isn't enough. They're also snake-like creatures, because in order to create another vampire they need to inject some sort of venom which takes 3 days to kill the person and "transform," if you will. They also never sleep.

But now others are just making up their own kinds of vampires, like in the HBO series of "True Blood." Its named after like some V8 juice for vampires; so instead of killing people they can just drink artificially made blood in different flavors like A- and O+ (by the way, I don't even know my own blood type :/). They live out in the open in human society and even have a political spokesperson xD. Their fangs are different teeth, too. They do burn up in the sun but crucifixes don't effect them, they can enter a church, garlic doesn't effect them, and they can't enter a person's home without being invited. Apparently people can be addicted to vampire blood, and there's a huge drug trafficking problem. Its almost considered a fad to have sex with a vampire and have them bite you, and you earn the name "fang banger" (lol). And in order for them to create a new vampire, first they drink all of their blood and them bury them in the graveyard where they undergo some chemical reaction with the soil or something, then claw their way back up to the surface. There's also the show "Moonlight" on the Scifi channel. I don't know much about this one, I just saw my mom watching it one day.

I'm just gonna restate the original myth so you guys can see how much its been exaggerated. You could find some sort of vampire myth in almost any culture, but its most popular in European countries, Romania being the most popular. Vlad the Impaler, known as Dracula, was just really freaking violent and was feared for his freaking craziness. It was rumored he was a vampire/son of the devil for this reason, and the claim that he dipped his bread once in human blood and ate it. As for living a ridiculously long time, there could have been an error in translating the dates.

. . . More like "Vlad the asshole," m i rite?

Peter Plogojowitz was popular too, apparently he rose from the dead a few times and was seen by his wife and some neighbors. Apparently he wanted his shoes back :/ They dug up his grave, and I guess what scared people the most and led to claims of vampires was the decomposition process. Nails tend to "grow" after death because the skin recedes, making nails (and hair) look longer. I guess they just expected people to turn to skeletons immediately. They just used vampires as an excuse for things that they couldn't explain at the time. Apparently when they staked Peter's body, he let out a shriek. Here's how: a dead body accumulates gas in the chest cavity. When shoving a stake into him, the gases where thrust into his throat, imitating a shriek-like noise. Needless to say, massive hysteria. http://tinyurl.com/mh56qa

"Oh shit guys wtf was that"

I could go on with the Chinese myth of vampires, but I don't really feel like it. :/ if you want me to I could do an update.

So here were the basic rules:
Vampires weaknesses included: garlic, silver, sunlight, wooden stakes, being burned, being cremated, being decapitated, holy water and holy grounds,the and inability to enter a home on their own free will. They were pretty sneaky I guess, because they slept in their coffins during the day and wandered about at night, killing those who they were close to during their existence. Maybe if they were out in the street or something at 2 am, considering they couldn't go in their houses. :/

If you want to kill even more time, here's the wiki article: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vampire