A Possible Start of Posting Awesome Poems

"Modern Man"

I'm a modern man.
A man for the millenium.
Digital and smoke free.
A diversified, multicultural
postmodern, deconstructionist,
Politically, anatomically,
and ecologically incorrect.

I've been uplinked and downloaded.
I've been inputted and outsourced.
I know the upside of downsizing.
I know the downside of upgrading.

I'm a high tech lowlife.
A cutting edge,
state-of-the-art,
biocoastal multitasker,
and I can give you a gigabyte
in a nanosecond.

I'm new wave
but I'm old school,
and my inner child
is outward bound.

I'm a hot wired,
heat seeking,
warm hearted
cool customer,
Voice activated and biodegradable.

I interface from a database,
and my database is in cyberspace,
so I'm interactive,
I'm hyperactive,
and from time-to-time,
I'm radioactive.

Behind the eight ball,
ahead of the curve,
riding the wave,
dodging a bullet,
pushing the envelope.

I'm on point, on task,
on message, and off drugs.
I got no need for coke and speed,
I got no urge to binge and purge.

I'm in the moment,
on the edge,
over the top,
but under the radar.

A high concept,
low profile,
medium range
ballistic missionary.

A street-wise
smart bomb.
A top gun
bottom feeder.

I wear power ties,
I tell power lies,
I take power naps,
I run victory laps.

I'm a totally ongoing,
bigfoot, slam dunk,
rainmaker with
a proactive outreach.

A raging workaholic.
A working ragaholic.
Out of rehab,
and in denial.

I got a personal trainer,
a personal shopper
a personal assistant,
and a personal agenda.

You can't shut me up,
you can't dumb me down.
'Cause I'm tireless,
and I'm wireless,
an alpha male
on beta blockers.

I'm a non-believer,
I'm an over-achiever,
Laid-back
but fashioned-forward.

Up-front,
down-home,
low-rent,
high-maintenance.

Super size,
long lasting,
high definition,
fast acting,
oven ready,
and built to last.

I'm a hands on,
foot loose,
knee jerk,
head case.

Prematurely
post traumatic,
And I have a love child
who sends me hate mail.

But I'm feeling,
I'm caring,
I'm healing,
I'm sharing
a supportive bonding
nurturing primary
care giver.

My output is down,
but my income is up.
I take a short position
on the long bond,
and my revenue stream
has its own cash flow.

I read junk mail,
I eat junk food,
I buy junk bonds,
I watch trash sports.

I'm gender specific,
capital intensive,
user friendly,
and lactose intolerant.

I like rough sex.
I like tough love.
I use the f word in my email,
and the software on
my hard drive
is hardcore,
no soft porn.

I bought a microwave
at a mini mall.
I bought a mini van
in a mega store.
I eat fast food
in the slow lane.

I'm toll free,
bite sized,
ready to wear,
and I come in all sizes.

A fully equipped,
factory authorized,
hospital rested,
clinically proven,
scientifically formulated medical miracle.

I've been pre-washed,
pre-cooked,
pre-heated,
pre-screened,
pre-approved,
pre-packaged,
post-dated,
freeze-dried
double-wrapped,
vacuum-packed,
and I have an unlimited broadband capacity.

I'm a rude dude,
but I'm the real deal.
Lean and mean.
Cocked, locked, and
ready to rock.

Rough, tough, and
hard to bluff.
I take it slow.
I go with the flow.

I ride with the tide.
I got glide in my stride.
Drivin' and movin',
sailin' and spinnin',
jivin' and groovin',
wailing' and winnin'

I don't snooze,
so I don't loose.
I keep the pedal to the metal
and the rubber on the road.

I party hearty,
and lunch time is crunch time.
I'm hanging in,
there ain't no doubt.
And I'm hanging tough,
over and out.

-George Carlin (RIP)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KMvjwF6jB0Q&feature=related